Can Graduation Be In Fashion?

I have a confession---I marched in every graduation I had, which means I donned the cap and gown five times (high school, junior college, BA, MA, PHD).  In all honesty I enjoyed my graduations  I liked donning the regalia and feeling that no matter how silly I looked, I had accomplished something and was moving on to a new stage in life!  I was proud to place the order for the doctoral gown that I would wear for the rest of my career.  I really need to order a new mortarboard or tam because the one I have now is about two sizes too big and won't stay on my head---did I have a bigger head when I got the degree? A higher opinion of myself?  More brains?  Who knows!

So here's a question---can one be fashionable at graduation?  The whole point of a cap and gown is to provide both uniformity and academic information.  The gown illustrates the degree that is being awarded and the variations in sleeve length and cut, the presence of a hood, etc. are all very important.  Someone familiar with the code can look at a graduate and know a number of details about her.  Once (MANY years ago) a photographer at a Wofford ceremony stopped me and asked me what my major was and if I was excited to be receiving my degree.  I was both deeply offended (Excuse me, do you see these velvet bars and satin hood?  That means I have a terminal degree, Dude!) and deeply appreciative (You think I could be 21 years old?  Oh, God bless you, Mister!).

But what about underneath the gown?  Wofford holds its graduation ceremony outdoors, which means that by the time the last BS recipient trots across the stage the weather is getting rather warm!

I've learned from a Wofford marshall that the rules about what is acceptable attire for graduates are not as strict as they have been in the past.  Probably many of us remember a time when graduates had to pass an inspection.  I received a long list of does and don'ts for my FSU graduations that certainly would have made for an uncomfortable ceremony in the sun: ladies had to wear dark dresses, hose, black or blue closed in shoes, and gentlemen were required to wear dress shoes, dark slacks, and a white shirt and tie.  I'm going to say that I am a bit old fashioned and I do think that is still the best look for a graduate!  It projects an air of dignity and maturity which never goes out of style.

However, I can also sympathize with young people who want to be as cool as possible and who can't wait for graduation to be over so they can make pictures, go out to eat with their families, and maybe even take an unsanctioned dip in the Wofford fountain.  I'm not going to scowl at young women for sporting sundresses and eschewing hose.  And I also don't fault a young man for wearing khakis or seersucker trousers, or even deck shoes.  But here are some ideas that I do wish our young people would consider:

1. Pictures are forever.  You want to look your best!  So why not clean up a little?  A good haircut and a shave (or proper trimming of facial hair) never hurt anybody.  You don't want to be mistaken for an overly educated Sasquatch.  And please, I know you were out last last night, but get up early enough to wash, dry, and fix your hair.  I'm always amazed at how many graduates go past with dripping locks. (Yes, I know hair will dry during the ceremony, but still...)

2. Try your robe on before graduation morning.  It probably needs to be ironed or at least hung up where steam can get some of the wrinkles out.  That 'fresh out of the box' look is just so high school!

3. Ladies, check the hem of your frock.  If it hangs out way beneath your robe, you might want a shorter dress, or at least one that doesn't look ratty or tattered, or that is so long it is going to impede your march 'past the posts' and into adulthood.

4. Shoes!  I could write fifty blogs on graduation shoes---mainly because from where we sit as faculty members, that's what we notice the most.  I usually get a nice sense of the most popular sandal styles. I'll never forget the year when a strange lime green was the hot color for girls' shoes and all the guys in one fraternity wore gold moon-man boots.  But my thoughts on footwear can be condensed into the following: (a) Wear shoes!  Please!  We are Terriers, not Cavemen!  (b) Remember that you are sitting on chairs on a lawn, and that if you wear stilettos you will have to fight your way out of the turf.  You might want to rethink wearing icepicks on your heels. (c) Wear shoes that you have a level of comfort walking in.  Every year I hold my breath, waiting for disaster when a young woman wobbles across the stage in five inch platforms that she bought the night before.  You don't want to be 'that kid' who broke an ankle in front of President Samhat.

5. Shades.  Bring them, it's going to be bright and (let's face it) some of you are going to be hung over.  But when you rise to go to the stage, leave your sunglasses on your seat.  Mom and Dad paid a LOT of money for that degree---and I may be going out on a limb here, but I bet they'd like to see your baby blues as you receive your diploma.  Unless, of course, taking off your sunglasses means you will toss your cookies on the marshall's feet.  In that case, go incognito in your shades and we'll see you at the reunion!

Not After 30--or 40--or 50--or Really?

I think when fashion writers run out of ideas, they turn to making lists, especially the lists of 'things never to wear after X age.'  Sheeplike, I'm prone to glance at these articles to see what rules are being proclaimed.

And inevitably, I find that I've broken many of them.

For a moment, shame will set in.  (What?  You mean I was supposed to have given up graphic t-shirts 21 years ago!!!  Why didn't I get the memo?  I've been making a fool of myself for two decades!!!)  That will usually be followed by a moment of frustration.  (What's so bad about animal prints?  Not head to toe, I'd never do that, but I love animal prints.)  And there's always the sneer (Well, nobody looks good in tube tops anyway, that's hardly original) followed, finally, by disgust and anger.  Who died and made YOU the arbitrator of all good taste, Fashion Blogger?

Along with being in love with fashion, I'm a historian of women.  So I know how clothes can lead to oppression as easily as to self-expression.  Liberation should bring choice---the choice to follow fads and fashions, or to opt out completely.  Truly, the only rules about what to wear at what age should be personal ones, and every woman's rules would be different.  Otherwise we'd be living in a society that handed out uniforms, and at each decade marker there would be someone waiting with new attire 'appropriate' to the age achieved.  Personally, I'd rather flee to a desert island than be forced to live in a world where, because I'm post-50, I have to chop off my hair, don mom-jeans, and keep my feet in 'sensible' shoes.

What women need more than 'age' lists, I think, are two things: one, a good sense of individualism and self-presentation, and two, a keen awareness of time/place/occasion.  Slavishly following 'trends' doesn't really promote anything except personal debt.  I can't imagine how any woman--well, except maybe a movie star and or a woman who is paid to promote various brands--could afford to ditch her wardrobe every season.  A woman needs to know who she is more than she needs to know the nuances of the latest designer collection.  To me the women who are truly stylish are the ones whose clothes fit their personalities---the bubbly lady in the bright colors, the cool sophisticate in elegant draperies, the athlete in her shorts and tees.  I admire women who can mix it up to fit their moods, and have enough awareness of their body-type and their true size to dress in ways that flatter their physicality.  Clothes that fit---not too big, not too small---are going to get noticed for reasons beyond being the 'latest thing' or 'so her age'.

And I realize that this next statement will put me in the ranks of the old-fashioned, but I do think women (AND MEN!) should understand that our attire 'speaks' to others.  I completely agree with the phrase that the only way not to talk with your clothes is to go naked. (Of course, then you're making another statement, and a pretty powerful one!)  Therefore, we should keep in mind that certain occasions have codes, and that honoring them is not oppression, but a way of showing respect toward the people we are interacting with.  It's why a woman does not wear white to another woman's wedding, or why (unless it was a final request by the dearly departed) a lady shouldn't show up for a funeral in Daisy Duke shorts and flip flops.  A woman who understands rule number one generally understands rule number two.  Perhaps her Sunday suit isn't the most 'recent' or most 'trendy' thing, but she'll be remembered for her good taste---not for being the tacky terror who showed up in a tube top and platform sandals to her great-grandchild's baptism.

So I won't throw out my graphic tees or my animal prints, and I'll probably stand in front of the mirror and have war with myself over whether or not I can wear palazzo pants.  I really don't want to look foolish or embarrass my husband, my mother, or Wofford College.  But I don't think 'rules about age' are as important as rules about occasion (which, again, are more about respecting others and creating an environment where everyone feels comfortable).  A confidant woman is always stylish and a joy to behold, whatever her age, and some of the women I think of as being so cool are those who have kicked 'the rules of age' to the curb.