Not After 30--or 40--or 50--or Really?

I think when fashion writers run out of ideas, they turn to making lists, especially the lists of 'things never to wear after X age.'  Sheeplike, I'm prone to glance at these articles to see what rules are being proclaimed.

And inevitably, I find that I've broken many of them.

For a moment, shame will set in.  (What?  You mean I was supposed to have given up graphic t-shirts 21 years ago!!!  Why didn't I get the memo?  I've been making a fool of myself for two decades!!!)  That will usually be followed by a moment of frustration.  (What's so bad about animal prints?  Not head to toe, I'd never do that, but I love animal prints.)  And there's always the sneer (Well, nobody looks good in tube tops anyway, that's hardly original) followed, finally, by disgust and anger.  Who died and made YOU the arbitrator of all good taste, Fashion Blogger?

Along with being in love with fashion, I'm a historian of women.  So I know how clothes can lead to oppression as easily as to self-expression.  Liberation should bring choice---the choice to follow fads and fashions, or to opt out completely.  Truly, the only rules about what to wear at what age should be personal ones, and every woman's rules would be different.  Otherwise we'd be living in a society that handed out uniforms, and at each decade marker there would be someone waiting with new attire 'appropriate' to the age achieved.  Personally, I'd rather flee to a desert island than be forced to live in a world where, because I'm post-50, I have to chop off my hair, don mom-jeans, and keep my feet in 'sensible' shoes.

What women need more than 'age' lists, I think, are two things: one, a good sense of individualism and self-presentation, and two, a keen awareness of time/place/occasion.  Slavishly following 'trends' doesn't really promote anything except personal debt.  I can't imagine how any woman--well, except maybe a movie star and or a woman who is paid to promote various brands--could afford to ditch her wardrobe every season.  A woman needs to know who she is more than she needs to know the nuances of the latest designer collection.  To me the women who are truly stylish are the ones whose clothes fit their personalities---the bubbly lady in the bright colors, the cool sophisticate in elegant draperies, the athlete in her shorts and tees.  I admire women who can mix it up to fit their moods, and have enough awareness of their body-type and their true size to dress in ways that flatter their physicality.  Clothes that fit---not too big, not too small---are going to get noticed for reasons beyond being the 'latest thing' or 'so her age'.

And I realize that this next statement will put me in the ranks of the old-fashioned, but I do think women (AND MEN!) should understand that our attire 'speaks' to others.  I completely agree with the phrase that the only way not to talk with your clothes is to go naked. (Of course, then you're making another statement, and a pretty powerful one!)  Therefore, we should keep in mind that certain occasions have codes, and that honoring them is not oppression, but a way of showing respect toward the people we are interacting with.  It's why a woman does not wear white to another woman's wedding, or why (unless it was a final request by the dearly departed) a lady shouldn't show up for a funeral in Daisy Duke shorts and flip flops.  A woman who understands rule number one generally understands rule number two.  Perhaps her Sunday suit isn't the most 'recent' or most 'trendy' thing, but she'll be remembered for her good taste---not for being the tacky terror who showed up in a tube top and platform sandals to her great-grandchild's baptism.

So I won't throw out my graphic tees or my animal prints, and I'll probably stand in front of the mirror and have war with myself over whether or not I can wear palazzo pants.  I really don't want to look foolish or embarrass my husband, my mother, or Wofford College.  But I don't think 'rules about age' are as important as rules about occasion (which, again, are more about respecting others and creating an environment where everyone feels comfortable).  A confidant woman is always stylish and a joy to behold, whatever her age, and some of the women I think of as being so cool are those who have kicked 'the rules of age' to the curb.