Saturday, December 28, 2013

Pajamas in Public? Better Sleep On It.


Several years ago, while I was in Florida for the summer, I came down with a terrible case of stomach flu.  The resulting dehydration caused a hospital stay.  I was released early in the morning, still so groggy and weak I couldn't struggle into street clothes.  Because of a scheduling conflict, one of our neighbors met us a few streets down from the hospital and I transferred from my mother's car to her car for the ride home.  I remember being mortified at the idea of having to stagger the few feet from vehicle to another.  What if someone saw me in public in my PJs?  How embarrassing!


If the recent trends in Spartanburg are any indication, I shouldn’t have worried.  Rather, I should have been proud, and maybe gone out for coffee or a round of shopping before heading back to bed!


I’m beginning to wonder if there is any separation of public and private spaces, if the line between the boudoir and the boardroom or the barroom is either non-existent or blurred beyond comprehension.  Everywhere I’ve been over the past few days I’ve encountered people wearing their sleeping clothes.  I’ve seen scores of children in cartoon-decorated flannels and more than one man in camouflage pajama pants with bedroom slippers instead of hunting boots.  But by far the greatest offenders (or pioneers, depending on one’s point of view, I suppose) have been young women, who are especially notable for prancing around in bright, spongy lounge-wear bottoms beneath their oversized sweatshirts.


The idea of sleepwear as daywear is not new.  I’ve seen the concept in fashion magazines aplenty.  However, something seems lost in translation here in Hub City.  The outfits depicted in the pages of magazines are more ‘sleepwear inspired’ (i.e. loose silky pants or blouses cut in the familiar pajama shape, soft suits that borrow their lines, texture, and prints from pajamas, or lacy camisoles that look like they were cut from bridal nightgowns).  They're not actual sleepwear!  Let’s face it, most of us wouldn’t want the world to see what we really sleep in, because it’s too skimpy, too sexy, or just too ragged, tattered, torn, faded, and ripped for public consumption.  Many of us ‘retire’ favorite old t-shirts or battered sweatpants to the bedroom.  Why in heaven’s name would we bring them out again and inflict them on the unsuspecting world at large?


I imagine most of the PJ-clad folks I’ve spotted would have an excuse—“Oh, I’m just running to the store for milk and bread” or “It’s easier to take the kids out in their jammies than fuss with them over getting dressed.”  To all of this I call foul.  Nobody expects hurried shoppers to be catwalk ready or grouchy youngsters to appear on red carpets.  But society doesn’t allow us to walk around naked either, which for some people would be the ultimate in comfort and practicality.  Standards of dress (which are so very minimal in our society) help keep us civilized, and certain activities in a civilized society are better performed in privacy and safety.  Cartoon-covered pajamas invoke comfort but also vulnerability; lacey gowns suggest sexual intimacy---neither of these is appropriate for the aisles of Wal-Mart or the tables of Cracker Barrel.



For those who might be confused, here’s a simple rule to follow: any clothes you regularly sleep in, do not wear in public. (And if you are under the age of one, you get a pass on this.)  Still puzzled as to whether you are wearing sleeping clothes or ‘waking’ clothes?  Ask the following questions:


Did you wear this while grabbing the paper off the doorstep and before having your morning shower?

Is this outfit just your underpants?

Did you wear this ensemble while being operated on?

Does this item have any of the following printed on it—‘Nitey-Night,’ ‘I’m a Nite Owl,’ ‘Sweet Dreams,’ or ‘Catching Some Zzzzs.’?

Did you buy this attire in the sleepwear department of your favorite store?

Does this suit have built-in footies?



If any of these (or several) are true, you really might want to do the outside world a favor and go back inside and put some real clothes on!

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